For the first time in my life, I am over the summer. I am ready to go back to school and have football on. Betting on golf has been fun, but baseball betting STINKS. I can’t win for shit. The Tigers are -220 and still lose by 3! It’s just impossible to know what’s going to happen any given day; It’s one of those sports.
But there’s good knews for all you degenerates- there are 11 preseason football games on Thursday. You gotta be a real degenerate to bet on this, according to the square Trey Wingo:
Betting on pre-season is probably harder than betting baseball; we have no idea who half the players are, and not a single soul knows what the outcome of the games will be. It comes down to which teams have the best scrubs; who has the best worst NFL players?
My strategy going into Thursday is to have my little sister pick a random team’s ML, a random over under, and a random spread, and I’m gonna parlay all 3. Fuck it, have your dog choose for you, he has the same chance of winning as you do to be honest.
Go Birds -3.5 though. Fuck it, the odds are +100 and you might as well enjoy watching the birds scrubs play.
Clayton Thorson Szn
But to games that actually matter. I see a few potential MLB plays this week.
Tonight, August 5, give me the Mets -1.5 over the Marlins in game one of their doubleheader. Jacob deGrom is on the mound, and the Marlins have struggled against him his entire career. The Mets offense will thrive tonight as the Marlins throw out Robert Dugger, who will make his MLB debut at Citi Field. I expect a blowout in the Mets favor.
Later in the week, look out for the Yankees -1.5 on Tuesday, the Phillies ML on Wednesday, as Jason Vargas makes his Phillies debut and they never seem to lose on my birthday, and the Yankees to take 3/4 in Toronto this weekend.
I would give you WNBA plays, but no ones cares about those. Just bet on the under if you’re gonna bet WNBA.
Boring week; not much else going on.
*PGA Tour The North Trust Betting Preview and Predictions Coming Wednesday*
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